Today we had Clovis, and i did my second 3mile/first 5k race in 16:49, which was really close to my goal. Boys got 2nd, and girls got 1st! awesome. Im a fucking retard by the way. Before i mentioned that i felt like my soul was dying, i dont know if im quite like that, but ive got some problems that i need to work out. One involves a friend who i didnt know at all until pretty recently but now hes one of my best friends and im worried for him, but i wont give too much information on that one. My other main problem is that i told Finny i like her, then i havent really talked to her for 3 days that much and i feel that i have made the situation awkward and that i come out looking like a dork to her. Im so bad with girls, i like them, but im really shy when it comes down to it, even though i may not seem like it a lot of the time. Maybe i do seem like it a lot, and i dont even realize. I cant seem to deal with my problems very well, i dont know how to deal with anything, i feel so helpless to help my friend cuz im in berkeley right now, maybe i should get out, but the brake fluid leaked out of my jeep, and im not sure if i can use my dads car. I need to talk to someone who can really help me, ive talked to a few ppl, and its helped, and even typing this makes me feel better, but overall im torn over what to do about stuff. All i know is that im finally going the way i wanted my running to go, but thats all i am in control of in my life.

¶ 8:20 PM

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