I was thinking last night about all the good times I had while being a Rheem Rat over at Fudge Alley, I harldy ever miss those days but some things that happened there were just classic. One of the better memories of Fudge was this guy named 'Drunk Mike' who seems to have done a lot of drugs in his past or something and was really funny. Mike talked in a very loud voice, very slowly and very strangely with a lot of stumbling and pauses, and he told jokes in this manner that were extremely funny and his way of speaking added to the effect. The most memorable joke he ever told involved a nun, a priest, a camel and they were in the desert together. It goes like this:
There was a Priest, a Nun and a Camel in the desert. They were all very dehydrated and hungry when all of a sudden their camel died and they were left in the desert with no hope of survival. They asked eachother what the other's last wish was, and the priest said "I have lived my whole life in celebacy, I have never seen a woman naked before" to which the nun responded that she had never seen a man naked before and would like to see it. So they get naked and the priest looks at the nun's vagina and asks "whats that?" to which the nun replies "oh thats been dead for a long time, I dont think it even works anymore." Now the priest gets an idea. The nun then looks at the priest's penis and asks "what does that do?" and the priest tells her that "if you stick it in something, it comes back to life." The nun immediately blurts out "then stick it in the camel so we can get the fuck out of here!"
Drunk Mike was the man, always walking around chain smoking and telling rediculous jokes that were pretty damn funny coming out of his mouth.
Frank, the owner of Fudge Alley is a character too, always letting Christian have hot dogs that he swears he will pay for the next day, yet probably owes Frank a few hundred dollars to this day. There was one time where I went in there and bought some ice cream that had been in the bucket so long that it had become goo-ey and not edible at all. Frank worked that place like a mad man, sometimes leaving the store open for a good hour while he went to the post office, the door open all the while. Once he accused Sean McCord of stealing candy while he went out, saying it was caught on the security cameras... which Frank doesnt even have. The best was his good bye to all of his customers "hawagoo uh" which translates to have a good one.
Then there were all the bikers, who I will give a short synopsis of.
Hoy-very early biker, lives across the street from me, quit around freshman year. Favorite Hoy line was "You should be proud of me, I quit smoking pot" and some of us told him this was good, then he responds "too bad I started doing lsd."
Robin-I knew Robin when I was 4 years old, always a dare devil of sorts and a natural leader, very different today than he used to be.
Sean-Robin's little brother, played finger bikes with me a lot starting when I was about 10 or so.
Sean McCord-quit biking a very long time ago, just a Rheem Rat for ages, deliverer of drugs and alcohol to minors.
Steve Terial-Sponsored and very good biker, had a 12 page article about him in BMX plus. Really nice guy who hung out with us once in a while and drove us to Alameda to ride.
Christian Rigal-still bikes a little bit mostly just Rheem Rat credentials though. Only guy who would really build trails with me.
Greg Micolas-Started riding a lond time ago, still rides and was never considered very smart, but usually a nice guy and a good friend for a really long time.
Connor Lodes-biking is all he knows, hes sponsored, really good and is respected. At times no one likes him for a few weeks at a time mostly out of jealousy and because he snakes people a lot and rides more than anyone else.
Austin-New to biking, not very good.
Matt Greiner-New to biking, pretty good, not the smartest but nice.
Kyle Lodes-went off to college about the time I started riding, never really knew him, acts a lot like Connor.
Casey Shelton-Really good, sponsored, the whole deal, smokes a lot of pot.
Ill finish later hopefully. Lunch time

¶ 11:13 AM

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